Letter to my children: The Teachings of the School Bus

Dearest Beloveds,

The school bus - both incredibly useful and also a huge teaching tool. Who knew?

When we have time, it is joy to meander down the road, looking at the autumn olives and the late blooming iris (poor thing, right before the frost hits). We hold hands. I sing Waltzing Matilda…

“Down came the squatter, mounted on his thoroughbred. Up came the trouperrrrsssss!” I hold the note and look over at the two of you, - perhaps I give your hands a squeeze.

Two clear voices call out to the morning air, “One! Two! Three!”

We talk about the plans for the day, learnings from Bean’s teacher or class, the beauty of the morning.

Those are the mornings we leave by 8:01 am. Giving us the full 10 minutes to leisurely meander down to the road for the bus pickup.

If we leave after 8:01 am. The energy is frenetic and rushed. Less than ideal.

I might put Bean’s packback in my bike basket, calling out as I pedal. “Come on Bean, run! We have 5 minutes to get there.”

“Why can’t we drive?”

Because I am not going to reward you for being a slowpoke. Your actions have consequences.

“Because it is good to move the body - and there is plenty of time if we move fast.”

“Momma, my feet hurt!”

And here is where the parenting lesson comes in.

“Well, if you had moved more quickly this morning and not spent time reading on the couch when I asked you to pack your lunch, we would not be so squeezed for time. Come on, you can do it.”

I might call to Dragon on his bike. “Dragon, could you go on ahead and make sure to be there so the bus knows that we are coming?”

Frantic pedaling ensues, “Sure Mom.”

We all arrive to the mailboxes, heart’s pounding. Ideally we have two minutes to reset everyone’s emotional equanimity before the yellow bus whisks Bean off.

Ideally.

And Dragon and I return home for our lessons.

It is just those mornings that are crunched for time that the bus feels like a tyrant. Otherwise the school bus is amazing and incredible and such a gift of wonderfulness. Bean gets to powwow with her friends and Dragon and I get to get some exercise before we sit down to focus on our lessons. It is incredible.

So the goal is how to ensure those crunchy mornings happen less and less. I am finding myself adopting a saying your father taught me - that he was taught about how to approach surgery. Go Slow to Go Fast. Aka, running around like a chicken to do 4 things at 25% each is way less effective and efficient than doing one thing at a time 100%.

You would think your mother in my late 40s would have learned this lesson by now. But that is where the joy of children comes in. It is one thing to be unconsciously competent - it is an entirely different thing to be able to teach competence to someone else. (Thank you Zingermans for that nugget of training knowledge.)

My beloveds, we will figure this out together - with as much singing as possible.