Letter to my children: Love languages
/Dearest Beloveds,
There are many ways to communicate. Words are very useful but also constrain. You will realize when you become familiar with more languages that languages are both a container and a funneling of experiences/wordview. The most glaring example that comes to mind is the ability to own land vs belonging to the land vis-a-vis the Europeans and the Native Americans (respectively).
The wonderful thing about strong relationships is that communication can happen without words - and often does.
Dragon, this is the game Momma plays with you where I say your name.
“Dragon.”
“Yes.”
“Dragon.”
“Yes.”
I whisper, “Dragon.”
You whisper back, a big smile on your face, “Yes.”
“Dragon.”
“Yes.” You start to giggle.
“Dragon.”
“Yes.”
Back and forth, such a simple fun game. I love you. I love you. I love you Dragon. I love you Momma. I love you Dragon. I love you Momma.
Your sister and I have been doing this on the piano.
Bean, you do the left hand, I do the right. We switch. I listen for you playing, you listen to me playing. We work on tempo, rhythm, syncopation. We listen with our bodies as we snuggle on the bench. Your soft form nestled beneath my shoulder.
“Again, let’s do that again.”
We play.
“Momma!”
“You are right, I muffed. Let’s try it again. From here.” I point to the page with my free hand.
“One, two, three”
The piece restarts.
“Don’t forget to bridge your fingers.”
Winkie’s piano is 50 odd years old. I think of all of the players who have sat around it. Winkie and Grandfather playing violin piano duets. Your great-grandmother plunking away on the pieces we have stored in her storage bench.
Our hands dance on the keys. Singing to each other and harmonizing together. We nail the ending.
“Yes! Bean!” I turn to you.
Simultaneously, “Momma, we did it!!” You face me.
I love you. I love you. I love you Bean. I love you Momma. I love you Bean. I love you Momma.
Thank you both for being my children. I love all of the ways you communicate with me.
