Letter to my children: Fear Muscles through Fear
/Dearest beloveds,
We talk a lot about the Cranky Monster as a way to start identifying that part of you that identifies with matter. Eckart Tolle, Mary Magdalene, and A Course in Miracles call that part of you the ego. The Consilience Project might call it frontal lobe hijacking. Conscious Discipline might call it your reptile brain. Momma calls mine Busy Bee (so Busy fretting over nothing Busy Busy!!).
Children, Momma’s Cranky Monster is the What If? voice I started identifying in my book - which I wrote, woof, 15 years ago. The What If? voice that showed up for me about dying enabled me to start identifying the what if? voice that surrounds us everywhere.
What if our country elects a man who doesn’t believe in the peaceful transition of power?
What if we don’t figure out how to slow/stop global warming?
What if my grandchildren don’t have clean water to drink?
What if this dress is not appropriate for the party?
What if I offended new friends when I made that penis joke?
What if I have a PET scan that shows cancer is back in my body?
What if?
What if?
WHAT IF?
On and on and on… The never ending circle of fear and self judgements. Thankfully, today’s A Course in Miracles (Lesson 240) is this: Fear is not justified in any form.
Fear is deception. ²It attests that you have seen yourself as you could never be, and therefore look upon a world which is impossible. ³Not one thing in this world is true. ⁴It does not matter what the form in which it may appear. ⁵It witnesses but to your own illusions of yourself. ⁶Let us not be deceived today. ⁷We are the Sons of God. ⁸There is no fear in us, for we are each a part of Love Itself.
I would change that to “we are the children of The Good” just like we do when we switch out all of the pronouns/label for God when reading the Bible - but otherwise, bang on. “We are each part of Love Itself.”
I don’t want either of you to know the sense of terror and overwhelm from the feeling of a dire medical diagnosis. Feeling the panic, the roiling, the fury - that you might die from a disease before you are ready to leave this earth. But I will say this - the process has taught me to see that voice. To identify my fear. To build Fear Muscle.
If I can teach you to strengthen your own Fear Muscle, identify your ego, recognize your own Cranky Monster then hopefully it will become easier for to you to function on this planet.
When you can identify your own ego - then you can identify the ego in others. And that, my dearest beloveds, leads to compassion and understanding. The “tender heart” as Pema Chodren would say. And, to give her full quote, “the experience of a sad and tender heart is what gives birth to fearlessness.”
If my experience building up my Fear Muscle can in any way be helpful for the two of you - to live your own lives of fearlessness. Then yes please.
Yes please.
Always and forever, yes please.
