Letter to my children: On regret

Dearest Beloveds,

The summer of my 19th year, I lived with Winkie. She was in her 90s. Several memories stick out from that time. After spending the whole night out with friends, swimming in moonlit pools and drinking, “hmmm, I guess I just need to get used to the morals of 19 year olds,” she said to me with a twinkle at the breakfast table, “pass the toast please.”

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Letter to my children: Thoughts on time

Dearest Beloveds,

Your Momma has learned a very important lesson this month. Again. I am sure I have learned this lesson before, but this month I seem to be getting a really heavy dose of learning on this. Here is the lesson.

Make room in your life always for unforeseen obligations. Try not to be so busy that you don’t have space for the unexpected.

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Letter to my children: Cursive and Cucumbers

Letter to my children: Cursive and Cucumbers

Hello my beloveds,

We have settled into our routine of school time from 8-10, then playing and summer doings the rest of the day. We have breakfast, then dishes, then the Dragon plays while the Bean and I focus on learnings. One of the joys of homeschooling is that you can teach in July and take October off and you can also teach cursive.

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Letter to the Dragon: The Birds and the Bees

Letter to the Dragon: The Birds and the Bees

Dearest Dragon,

I feel the big questions of where we come from and who we are never stop in life - but the first thread of the tale comes from hearing your conception and birth story. Your arrival to this planet, like your sister, involved a team of people and medical magic. Neither one of you arrived after a heated sweaty snuggle in the back of a truck. Paperwork, lawyers, medical professionals, petri dishes, ultrasounds, and lots of prayer created the circumstances whereby you could chose us and we chose you - and here you are.

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Homeschooling Learnings: The Bean learning to read

Homeschooling was not ever something I seriously considered, until it became the only thing I considered. I am thrilled to report that after doing this for two years I finally was able to use my joke I have been sitting on.

“So is your daughter at Chancellor?” We are meeting new neighbors.

“Bean, what do you do for school?” I look down at her and smile.

“We are homeschooling.” She smiles up and runs off with the other children.

The neighbors look at me. Perhaps I am imaging the thoughts that I might have had before being in this boat, so I pull out my joke. “Well, you see, we don’t believe in evolution. So it works well for us.”

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Letter to my Bean: The Birds and the Bees

Letter to my Bean: The Birds and the Bees

Dearest Bean,

This is one of my favorite stories to tell. The story of how you came to us. You already know that you were born and carried to term in the womb of our dear friend K – but the why and wherefore, we haven’t yet delved into. Yours my dear, is a story of medical magic and glory. The gift of your birth reset your mother’s justice scale with the medical establishment (and if that is confusing, ask your father).

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Letter to my children: Tree cutting

Letter to my children: Tree cutting

Dearest Beloveds,

If you choose to read any of my writing beyond these letters, you will quickly learn that your momma is not a fan of comparing. As we were discussing yesterday at lunch, comparisons come from judgements and lead to unhappiness. There will always be people who are more accomplished and less accomplished than you in any field that you can imagine - and as such, comparing yourself to others will always lead to making yourself feel temporarily better than someone else or temporarily worse about yourself. It is not a fruitful avenue to explore in life and better to avoid entirely. If you can - avoid judgements altogether - and if that is not possible, than please be conscious of what you are doing and whether you feel it is hurtful or helpful in your belly.

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Letter to my children: “Give me a bunch of while whiles”

Dearest Beloveds,

About two weeks ago your father and I started noticing this conversation happening. One of us would be washing dishes/feeding the dog/chopping vegetables/putting on socks/etc.

“Momma/Dada! Where are my socks/hat/shoes/big boots/bathing suit/goggles/etc.”

“I will be right there. Give me a second to finish up and I will help you.”

A small pause.

“It has been a second. WHERE are you?!! I can’t hear you moving!”

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Letter to my children: The role of suffering

Dearest Beloveds,

This morning I was reading to you a variation of the Twelve Iron Sandals - except for this time the enchanted prince was a pig not a dragon. (I prefer the dragon, for obvious reasons.) The last paragraph of the story included this sentence, “And they ruled as only kings can rule who have suffered many things and through their suffering, becoming loving and wise.”

It reminded me of this quote from Resmaa Menakem’s latest blog piece, “When White Bodies Say: Tell Me What To Do.”

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Letters to my children: Berry season

Letters to my children: Berry season

Dearest Beloveds,

When we lived in Michigan I thought the 5 pound boxes of blueberries one could purchase were obscenely amazing. I would eat blueberries for a week straight, until my tooth enamel yelled at me to stop (too much acidity).

Now we live in New York, with pick your own berry farms surrounding us and I realize that obscene is not the word. The words are glory, bounty, lavishness, profusion, cornucopia, richness, or abundance.

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