Good Night Darling - Letters to my children

Bedtime is honestly one of the best things ever (with the always parenting caveat of well rested and not hungry).

First everyone is in our huge bath with a few drops of Rob Wergin’s charged water. “Momma, did you put in God water?” The Bean is bright red from her waist down because the water is so so hot.

“God Water?” The Dragon sits on the edge of the tub until he feels ready to come down.

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Conspiracy vs Fuckup - thank you Dad

Conspiracy vs Fuckup - thank you Dad

My amazing father, whose memory now darts in and out of the conversations like a hummingbird, had a saying when he worked for the Federal Government. He spent his whole life after law school nudging the tail of the elephant to do good as a bureaucrat in the Executive Branch. One of his colleagues shared his saying with my sister and me when we became old enough, namely:

“Given a choice between a conspiracy and a fuckup, always choose a fuckup.”

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Labels, Boxes, and Stories ... Oh My!

Labels, Boxes, and Stories ... Oh My!

The Dragon is learning to name everything. All day, “Momma, wha dat?” and he points. People and machines mostly, he is not asking about plants or the clouds. He is learning to name because we that is the way our language functions. He is learning to name because he is separating himself as an autonomous human being and giving shape to his personality through language.

In order to name something you are placing a label upon it - a label that can often morph into a box shored up with accompanying stories. This is a glass. A glass is to drink liquid out of us, usually they are fragile.

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Parenting - Watching the Pain Body emerge

Eckhart Tolle speaks of the Pain Body and being born with such and how childhood tantrums can be a result of the emotional body of the child growing into its Pain Body. Rudolf Steiner speaks of the 6 year transition as a formative one for children as a time of separation and independence - hallmarked often by rebellion and lashing out.

As with all things, I think these are actually the same things.

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The Extraordinary in the Ordinary

The Extraordinary in the Ordinary

I take a sip of warm tea, roll my head three times in each direction to hear the crunching, and roll my shoulders three times backwards ~ feeling my body fall into the comfy couch. Truth is truth and yet, in this world of material doings, it can be lost so quickly into the forgetory… and so here are my reminders - God is in every moment.

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There is nothing more important than a daily practice with God - DO IT!

When I was about 13 years old I vividly remember asking the Universe to for a life to stretch me, to challenge my hangups, to force my soul and beingness to grow and learn and evolve. The Universe heard me.

30th birthday present… stage 4 cancer. Boom.

Here I am, about to turn 42, a bit less plump and bouncy physically but oh so much wiser.

I can hear my 80 year old giggling at that statement. Regardless, here we go, immortal words of wisdom from one who is basically repeating what sages have known for aeons.

Spend the Amrit Vela with God. Wake up early (between 3-6) and meditate, do yoga, pray, and spend time being held by the Divine. Rest in God deliberately, with focus and intent.

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Just in case... letters to my children

A few months ago I was talking about a woman who had died. “The worst part,” her closer friend shares with me, “is that her kids keep on asking me if I have a letter or a note from her for them - and I keep on having to say no.”

So here we go, my winter project, write letters to my children. Just in case. Why not?

Letters for their birthdays, letters when they graduate from college/run away from home/join a cult, letters when they get married. Letter when it is a random Tuesday in March 2042 to tell them I love them.

You never know in this life. Isn’t the idea of doing this now, in health, with facilities intact, without the cancer industrial complex breathing down my neck, make it seem more of a gift than a chore?

I think so. I feel so. I know so.

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Post death God immersion integration, thank you A Course in Miracles!

So, obviously, the evening of May 7 was really an experience beyond words. Initially, I was euphoric. Totally high, in love with the world, experiencing the gift of oneness and in awe of what happened.

As the experience lost its immediacy and tactile sharpness - I spent time mourning the shift. But then, the Universe did something amazing (not that I am surprised).

I started receiving nudges reinforcing what happened - during a yoga class, or a conversation, or in my A Course in Miracles (ACIM) reading. Nudges that strengthened what I had seen or learned or understood (again, words are hard).

Here are the nudges I received from ACIM over the last 6 weeks or so. Nudges that led me to share my story.

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